All the Movies I Saw in 2012

It’s 10:06am and I’m going to spend a chunk of the rest of today tweeting about the 75 movies I saw in 2012. Hope you don’t mind. #herewego No rankings here, just alphabetical order. Mostly because > 1/2 the movies are not from 2012. Cross-year rankings would be hard. #okletsgo

• 24 Hour Party People (2002) … Intriguing document of late ’70s/early ’80s scene in Manchester, Factory records, et al that fails to cohere.
• 50/50 (2011) … Set in Seattle with maybe 2 scenes actually shot here, which bothered me, but not enough to ruin a solid story & resolution.
• The Adventures of Tintin (2011) … A little too whiz-bang at times, but it lovingly recreated the books which are still near & dear to me.
• The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) … Garfield & Stone’s chemistry couldn’t make up for a weak villain & cheesy moments like the crane sequence.
• The American (2010) … Foreign thriller uses limited budget to great effect; stunning locations nearly overshadowed Clooney’s star power.
• Argo (2012) … Only misstep Affleck made was the unnecessary tarmac chase; despite knowing the outcome, the film was plenty tense w/o it.
• The Artist (2011) … The Bobby McFerrin of movies, this B&W silent movie had no business being any good, let alone a hit, yet it was both.
• Attack the Block (2011) … No-budget alien invasion action/adventure comedy that proved dollars don’t equal quality. #IamtalkingtoyouTheWatch
• The Avengers (2012) … Proof that crowd-pleasing summer blockbusters can be big, fun, blow stuff up and not leave a bad taste in your mouth.
• Baghead (2008) … Duplass brothers take a stab at a mumblecore horror/comedy and come out on the other side bored & confused, just like me.
• Beats, Rhymes & Life (2011) … Tribe Called Quest doc shows the Soulquarian heroes perpetually divided by Q-Tip’s unrelenting genius ways.
• Being Elmo (2011) … Saw it before the controversy—found it a rousing testament to believing in & achieving one’s dreams. #nowitmakesmesad
• The Big Year (2011) … Big stars—Owen Wilson, Steve Martin, Jack Black—yet I never heard of it? Usually spells doom. Not here. Overlooked.
• Brave (2012) … While I applaud Pixar’s use of a heroine, I just wish she wasn’t a princess stuck in this pat fairytale. We can do better!
• The Cabin in the Woods (2012) … Only reason this was shelved for 2 years: marketers are dumber than the people they market to. #JossFTW
• A Cat in Paris (2010) … A cute but ultimately slight Oscar nominee bolstered by bold hand-drawn animation & an exceptional title sequence.
• Charles Bradley: Soul of America (2012) … Sometimes heartbreaking tales have happy endings. Bradley’s unusual path to stardom is uplifting.
• Chico & Rita (2010) … Surprise Oscar nominee should’ve won; brilliantly rotoscoped & backed by a wonderful soundtrack & stirring love story.
• Chronicle (2012) … “Found footage” teenage superhero tale uses nifty writing tricks (what to do w/camera?) w/ believable emotions & plot.
• Contagion (2011) … Soderbergh zips thru a gripping pandemic story then doubles back in the last seconds to show how easily it could happen.
• Cowboys & Aliens (2011) … Underwhelming but not terrible; a standard western w/ little more than aliens standing in for the indians of yore.
• Cyrus (2010) … Give the Duplass brothers an actual budget & they’ll make a weird but good little movie about relationships & broken people.
• A Dangerous Method (2011) … Dreary Freud/Jung period piece made un-boring by a searing & showy Kiera Knightly performance. #alsoFassbender
• The Dark Knight Rises (2012) … Impossible to live up the Joker, but Bane & Rises tried its best. Overstuffed? Too long? Maybe. #orjustright
• The Descendants (2011) … Pretty boy Clooney shockingly seemed like a real, schleppy dad. Shailene Woodley was fantastic. Oh, and #Hawaii
• Diner (1982) … One of those “before they were stars” flicks everyone goes back to later, i.e. a shoulda-been-a-hit overlooked in its time.
• The Dirty Dozen (1967) … The template for every motley crew movie you’ve seen since; look for a young non-white-haired Donald Sutherland.
• Doctor Dolittle (1967) … Black sheep of the ’68 Oscar class; not as terrible as I had heard, but long, boring & full of unmemorable songs.
• Elektra Luxx (2010) … Some very talented & attractive people in this dull comedy about a retiring porn star that’s neither funny nor sexy.
• The Five-Year Engagement (2012) … Predictable romantic comedy filled w/ more quirky characters than laughs; had high hopes, left whelmed.
• Flight (2012) … Got over my anti-Denzel stance long enough to enjoy this terribly sad & oddly thrilling parable of desperation & addiction.
• Friends With Kids (2011) … Unbeatable cast, unique premise; sadly still finds pitfalls of more standard romantic comedies. Liked it though.
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) … Beautifully, drearily shot & wickedly paced despite its runtime. Will there be a sequel? Hope so.
• The Green Hornet (2011) … Pineapple Express excluded, Seth Rogen is no action star; it still baffles me that Michel Gondry made this movie.
• Green Lantern (2011) … The best thing about DC’s franchise non-starter was the secret ending foreshadowing the sequel they’ll never make.
• The Hangover Part II (2011) … “Our movie was a big success, let’s make a sequel.” “OK, what’s our story?” “Same as the last one, obviously.”
• Haywire (2012) … Only Soderbergh can cast a non-acting MMA fighter in a movie & get away w/ it: by adding just enough plot & a stellar cast.
• The Help (2011) … Morality play tugs at the heartstrings of Oscar voters and Oprah viewers alike; cut the subplots & it’s a stronger movie.
• The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) … 48FPS distracts til Gollum shows up to revitalize a poorly paced epic trying too hard to be LOTR.
• The Hunger Games (2012) … Lacked any true desperation/hunger, but an otherwise enjoyable upgrade from the book; Lawrence a great Katniss.
• The Ides of March (2011) … Gosling holds his own w/ Clooney in a political barn-burner; if it’s really like this, no wonder we’re troubled.
• In Time (2011) … Another brilliant conceit from writer/director Andrew Niccol somehow loses steam once it gets rolling; JT probably miscast.
• Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2011) … Another Duplass movie—easily the best yet. Surprising emotional resonance grounded by everyman Jason Segel.
• Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011) … Did the world need a sequel to Kung Fu Panda? Probably not, but there’s just enough humor & wisdom here to enjoy.
• The Last Waltz (1978) … Finally saw the classic concert film after watching a similar contemporary doc earlier in the year. Worth the wait.
• Life of Pi (2012) … Think I was supposed to be more invested in this tale of woe, but I wasn’t. Did like what Ang Lee did w/ 3D, though.
• Lola Versus (2012) … Young girl in NYC who’s unlikable yet ultimately sympathetic—like Lena Dunham in Girls. Only not as believable or good.
• Looper (2012) … It was nothing like I expected, but this movie bent my brain, so I’m OK w/ that; JGL nails Bruce Willis’s mannerisms.
• Magic Mike (2012) … Soderbergh disguised a sad story of a guy forever down on his luck as a lady-crowd-pleasing stripper movie. #sneakygood
• The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) … Yes, it was 57 years ago, but shooting in a studio & then projecting your crowded exteriors? Distracting.
• Margaret (2011) … Some hailed it a masterpiece. Me, I’m in the other camp: a muddled tone & messy editing do not make for powerful drama.
• Moonrise Kingdom (2012) … Delightfully weird and lovable, this, the most Wes Anderson-y movie of his oeuvre earned unexpected mass appeal.
• Nights and Weekends (2008) … Mumblecore is better on paper than it is in reality, which is weird because they’re working without a script.
• The Notebook (2004) … Had to finally see what all the hype was about, and you know what? It wasn’t too bad. And really: McAdams. Nuff said.
• OSS 117 (2006) … Cheeky Bond spoof that’s more Bondian than Austin Powers and far less grating. Curious to see if the sequel is as good.
• Planet of the Apes (1968) … One of the most famous movie endings ever; now I’ve finally seen the rest. A tad cheesy now, but still worthy.
• Pootie Tang (2001) … Only saw this curio because Louis CK wrote/directed it. Not sure I’m in on the joke, since I barely laughed once.
• Prometheus (2012) … I’ll admit the trailer was better, but I thought this Alien prequel was solid; still, I longed for the old Nostromo.
• The Puffy Chair (2005) … The Duplass talent began to shine through, thanks in part to Mark’s future wife & The League co-star Katie Aselton.
• Rango (2011) … Kid-friendly western consistently made me laugh & the story was just adventurous enough to keep me engaged; great voice cast.
• RED (2010) … Kind of like if a bunch of old, respectable actors went and made the Expendables, except Bruce Willis is somehow in both.
• Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) … A surprisingly compelling prequel to the 43-year-old original, anchored by mo-cap hero Andy Serkis.
• Robot and Frank (2012) … Loved this surprisingly believable vision of the near future featuring an old thieving man & his robot accomplice.
• Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) … Mark Duplass again! He & Aubrey Plaza unbreak each other’s hearts; had me rooting for time travel to be real.
• Seven Psychopaths (2012) … When Christopher Walken is the emotional center of a movie, you’re in for a treat. Colin Farrell pretty good too.
• Shame (2011) … A sad, sad portrait of addiction, which is really just about escalating from bad habits to worse ones; bold performances.
• The Shining (1980) … A movie I’d seen a thousand times in clips, yet never saw in full; Kubrick is a master of pacing, framing & music cues.
• Shut Up and Play the Hits (2012) … Plays like a modern day The Last Waltz w/ Klosterman standing in for Scorsese (as interviewer, that is).
• Shut Up Little Man (2011) … Doc is never quite as interesting as its subject: cult series of audio verité recordings of 2 arguing roommates.
• Skyfall (2012) … Third Craig-as-Bond nodded (meta & in-series) heavily to the past, was better for it; Bardem’s villain didn’t hurt either.
• Speed Racer (2008) … The Wachowskis surely have a singular vision—I’ve never seen anything like it. And I’m not sure I ever want to again.
• The Station Agent (2003) … Game of Thrones inspired me to dig up this old critical fave starring Peter Dinklage; what took me so long?
• Tangled (2010) … Disney goes oldschool w/ a classic fairy tale set to music, enlivens it w/ computer animation; surprisingly fun throughout.
• The Thin Man (1934) … The oldest movie I saw in 2012 was one of the best; I want to be in a relationship like that of Nick & Nora Charles.
• Tiny Furniture (2010) … Lena Dunhum’s debut feature would be less remarkable were she not 23 when she made it. But she was. #precocious
• Twelve Monkeys (1995) … Before Looper, Bruce Willis time-traveled to stop a loopy, unhinged Brad Pitt, who steals every scene he’s in.
• Wanderlust (2012) … Funniest thing in the entire movie: Rudd’s mirror outtakes. Could watch those all day. Can’t say the same for the rest.
• Wreck-It Ralph (2012) … Disney out-Pixared their more successful little brother w/ an expertly plotted & well acted ode to underdogs.
• Young Adult (2011) … Charlize is such a good actress that while watching her petulant character you forget how beautiful she is. #hardtodo
• Your Highness (2011) … Everyone warned me that this wasn’t good, but I didn’t listen & saw it anyway. McBride & Franco are an unfunny combo.