Fantastic Four

For all the recent successes in comic book adaptation (Batman Begins, Sin City, and the Spider-Man & X-Men franchises), there have certainly been a few clunkers. What made these critical and commercial hits where others (Daredevil, The Hulk, Elektra) have failed? Besides the obvious elements of casting and effects, the true key to making a blockbuster comic-book movie is having a director who is A) highly skilled in his craft and B) uniquely suited to and driven by the source material. Hulk director Ang Lee fits into category A, but not B. Daredevil‘s Mark Steven Johnson is a B, but not an A. Unfortunately for fans of Marvel’s Fantastic Four, FF director Tim Story (Barbershop) is neither A nor B. Despite that failing, and despite a hokey and occasionally lazy screenplay, Fantastic Four is, as some would have you believe, certainly not the worst comic book adaptation I’ve ever seen.

Backhanded complement, you say? Well, let me explain. Fantastic Four is inherently harder to take seriously than the other recent, angsty superhero movies. The comic always had a flair for sarcasm and thus never took itself too seriously. As a movie though, this doesn’t work quite as well. It’s chuckle funny, but not guffaw funny, and while it has some moments of fear/villainy, they don’t fit with the tone of the movie enough to make them scary. When Dr. Doom scorches a hole through someone’s body, you would expect to laugh in fits or be reduced to stone cold shock. I experienced neither.

The tone is where the movie fails most of all, though the shoddy script doesn’t help. The typical four steps of Marvel origin stories are here: 1. Tragedy 2. Mourning 3. Experimentation 4. Acceptance. None of these are presented in any new or even novel way. We see Johnny Storm go off and inexplicably hit the X Games circuit, Ben Grimm sulk after his wife leaves him, then perk up when a blind woman takes interest. There is no sense of time or character progression. Victor Von Doom’s second step is Denial, but he is too quick to embrace his “destiny” as evil genius.

A lot of critics and fanboys alike complained about the stiff, two-dimensional characterizations of these characters. They were right to do so, for this feels like the live-action retelling of a children’s cartoon. But, believe it or not, this is not the fault of the actors, who were well-cast into their chintzy roles. Michael Chiklis gives a stone-faced Ben Grimm/The Thing a sense of angst and emotion. Chris Evans as Johnny Storm/The Human Torch has a cheerfully cocky attitude and genuine interest in his newfound powers. Julian McMahon has a simmering evil under that charming face as Dr. Viktor Von Doom, and Ioan Gruffud counterbalances that with a sort of nerdy hunk thing. The only possible miscasting is the always pretty, never brainy Jessica Alba as scientific genius babe Sue Storm, whose special powers of invisibility are played for some false laughs at multiple points in the movie.

It all adds up to a film that falls far short of even the lowest expectations. Fantastic Four, while not a train wreck like Hulk, Batman & Robin or the ill-fated (and now infamous) 1990s Roger Corman version, will not enter the annals of comic filmdom. It’s too bad, because I’d like to see these characters in a good movie. Let’s hope the sequel is a bit more fantastic.

Grade: C-